"I miss you freaking much.

And i do miss your hug too."

Hello babies.

I have no freaking idea what am I gonna write here.
I have just really recovered from my asthma but hell, my cough is freaking me out.
I jut feel like screaming my lungs out.
And when i wated to scream, my throat hurts badly.
And I cant eve write properly.
My hand shakes. my handwriting looks freaking ugly.
Side effects of my medicine.
Great or what ?

Oh, and i feel like giving up my friendster, Tagged and whatever accounts i have.
Macam paham ah Hid. Cakap jehk manyaaak. LOL. =.=
Friendster is like super slow already lah.
Malas pun nak update.
Gonna be freaking active on blog only.
Hee.

Okay. tomorrow there will be Mad.
Yes, and i'll be mad wth them.
not mad as in angry but mad as in crazy.
LOL.
Oh, and Mr S, fetch me please ?
I miss you freaking much too.
Please ?
Pretty, Pretty please ?
Hee.

Okay, enough shit for today.
I wanna ajak mummy go Town.
Im bored sitting at home.
Its been donkey years since i'd been there.
Pretty please mummy ?

byeeee !
(:

" Am I going through this alone ? "

Hello babies.

I promised to update again didnt I ?
I keep promises okay ?
So, my day is simply boring.
I felt as if im grounded.
But im not really grounded though.
I just had no freaking mood to get out.
And oh yes, anyone nice enough to accompany me to Bugis Street ?
It had been donkey years since i stepped into town orBugis.
The last time i'd been there was like last year after watching basketball match with Shasha Loopy and Ain Gundoo.

Oh, and here's the lyrics to one of the songs in my playlist,
Does Anybody Hear Her By Casting Crowns.
We are also using this song for our Drama SYF play.
I simply dont know why i loved it.
Maybe because i listened to it a million times already ?
And also, im in love with the song by Rihanna - P.S. Im Still Not Over You.
I dont know why but i feel as if i could relate to it.


Does Anybody Hear Her - Casting Crowns

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

" Its impossible for us.
But what can I do if i can't stop dreaming ? "


Hello babies.

I woke up seriously early today despite the sleepless night i had last night.
Im still on mc.
shit right ? im already missing my classmates and my babies.
Wensheng even tagged me. im so touched. lol
im seriously hungry but in no mood to eat.
i want macd's.
LOL.
cerewet eh hid hari nie !
and im also craving for some KFC.
lol.
okay.
i'll update more later on.

(:

"I just know.

The moment we feel the love.

It makes me coming back for more.

But im still patiently waiting."

Hello Babies.

Currently in a good mood.
But not that good.
There is still breathing difficulties.
But hack care.
Im gonna meet my babies later on.

So, my four days of CNY holiday isnt much fun since i chose to just laze around at home.

Sat.
So, head over to park to hangout with sibling and also Mr S.
Had a great time even though for a short while.
After all those fun, head to food court in NP with mummy for early dinner.

Sun.
Head off to madrasah early in the morning.
met ain on the train.
first time in 2009 with a record of lateness. LOL.
had those freaking boring lessons.
after madrasah, spend time with him.
yes, he sentd me home.
sweetness.
it ended with a long hug. -.-

Mon.
did nothing much.
didnt even step out of the house.
mummy blamed me for her missing credit cards.=.=""""
looked aroud the house for it and found it somewhere in her cupboard.
thanks for blaming me eh.=.="""
mummy didnt talk to me one whole day.
merajuk lah tu.
kept quiet about her cards in her cupboard. lol

Tue.
had a bad sore throat.
stayed at home while the rest went to Science Centre.
i have been there a million times.
no regrets for not following.

Yest.
half day of school.
i think asthma attacked me.
lol.
im serious !
cant sleep the night before.
head for school with that face that looks like as if i wanna die that minute.
head home for a change before heading of for lunch with fitria and wanie.
i wanna kill wanie.
all she talks about is guys.
flirt !
head home at around 1 plus.
started to aze around on bed and suddenly fell asleep all the way to 4.
woke up and text mummy i needed the doctor seroiusly.
the clinic was full.
had a one hour wait. -.-
in the end, i was given Nebs.
you know , that mask they give you when u have breathing difficulty.
i hate those thing.
it makes you tears.
but well, it feels lots better after that.

today.
was given a two day mc.
skipped school !
hoorrraaayyy !
dont get jealous. -.-
asthma getting better.
at last.
gonna meet shasha, ain and sasa afterwards.
wooh !
i missed them ever so much.

okay. enough shit for today.
byeeee !

How long will it be to have you back again ?

Hello babies.

In a good mood rght now.
So dont spoil it.
LOL.
Lessons were as per normal.

We only had lessons till reccess.

We had social studies with Foong.
A fcuking irritating teacher. All she does is blabbing.
Then we had Geog. Trust me. Boooorrriiinnnggg.
Had a test. And then she blabbed on about rivers and i was there giving her that 'not-eager-to-learn-geog-for-the-moment' face.
After geog was A maths.
Jarrett joker lah at class. Kian wei too. I swear that was the best lesson i had for the day.
Mr Ben Yong wasnt actually that strict. He is funny. hahas.
We then had reccess and then Chinese New Year celebration.
I swear I could just fell asleep there at that moment if it wasnt for the noise.
So, walked back home with Fitri and Wanie.
Freaking hot. and i was like carrying a backpack. Double freaking hot. =.=
Wanie could seriouly need a slapping from me.
My MP4 which she borrowed could just break into pieces in her hand.
Fcking shit lah.
Head home and had a loooonng cold shower.
Continued reading my novel and here i am.

Im off now.

Byeeeeee !

I was just waiting for you

" I dreamt of you.
But will that dream ever come true ? "

I have just had my worst day.

It all started all fine.
I was having my normal high mood.
when it all came crashing down on me right when i thought i could be happier at that moment.
It was the lesson before my reccess at 11.
We were having project work and i admitted not contributing ideas when we needed them.
Reason because i am not creative.
I do not care saying this to everyone as i myself know there is no point of lying to myself.
And that is when she* took advantge of throwing sarcasm right into my face.
But what can i do ?
I wished i could just turn back time and show her how pissed i am right that moment and just run into the toilet and cry my heart out and make her feel guilty.
But because i respected my group, i pretended as if nothing had happened.
imagine her saying "Do you have any idea, Hidayah ?" right after i commented on one of the members idea.
That was not all.
When i wanted to voice out my idea, i was already shouting and the class was like noisy and there she was not listening and twirling her hair and suddenly she said "What ? " right into my face.
i kept pretending not to hear anything.
All i wish i had done was to smack her face.
But why dont i have that courage in me ?
After few more lessons after that, we were having social studies when she made me feel like a dog shit in front of her.
The annoying teacher was there blabbing about some stuffs when she asked us to copy down some stuffs on foolscap.
My partner beside me was asking for some and then i offered him.
She then saw it and asked too. My partner gave it to her. And when i asked it from her back my foolscap pad. My partner already offered his hand but she then acted as if she didnt see it and throw it in my face with that fcuking face of hers.
And i had to still endure it the whole day.
If i hadnt had the patience to stay calm, i would think she would had hate me forever.

And during drama, we had this line read and i was there to join them as i was the stage manager. And after all those line reads, G came to us and then asked me what i wanted to be and there i said, looking stunned, saying i wanted to be a teacher. And suddenly he started talking about all those crap about what experience i had to be a teacher and all those irritating crap about singaporeans who wouldn't wake up to reality.He said it as if he already culd predict the future that he knew al those title jobs are what we could be and as if its so impossibe to reach our dreams. and he kept saying thinks that made me realise being an adult, reaching towards my dreams is as easy as i thought. On the way home, i reflected on my day and i realised what G had said really made me woke up to reality and he didnt mean what he said and he did it because he cared for us. Afiq said it was reverse psychology that is supposed to make you work harder to reach what your dreams are.

I shall not blabb on as it would be boring.

* I shall keep her name private. To her : Be thankful i didnt throw tantrum at you. And be thankful i keep your name silent. Siapa makan cili dialah terasa pedas.

Byeeeeee !

Was I blinded by love ?

"Is it me ?
Or is it you ?
Or is it just me being blinded by love ?"

Hello Babies.

Had a freaking great time today.
As usual, had to wake up early today for Madrasah despite waiting for his call till midnight.
Was 15 mins late. great right ? every week at least 15 mins. Soon you will be seeing me washing the toilets. LOL. so, had a freaking great time with gossips among the four of us. Every single week there's surely be gossips. hee.

After madrasah, he piced me up and we went home together. super sweet. hee. SHUT UP HID ! And i was alreading dreaming of sleeping the minute i step into the house but only to find AimanBby to ask me to accompany him to the park. promised him at 3. and with his wilingness to accompany him, four of us including him had a jolly well time at the park for more than an hour. after sending him of to the bus stop, went home only to find mummy wanting us to meet her at northpoint. i am llike so freaking tred at that point of time.

currently waiting for his msg as he promised to msg me after his soccer. and yes. i have to go or my ear will be deaf with mummy's whining that wants to use my laptop. LOL.

till here.
Peace out !

Hearing your voice before i sleep makes me melt

" I wish you could just read my heart.
Cause i just can't hold it any longer already."

Hello babies.

currently in high mood.
school yesterday was fun.
but tiring. im still in the mood of sleeping in till late afternoon. LOL.
but i simply can't.
mummy spoilt my plan of going out for movie with richo and asked my to watched over aiman alone.
and then i woke up to see daddy still lying on bed sleeping which means he would be at home the whole day.
great or what ?

been chatting on the phone with Salam these few days.
one word. F.U.N.
but the bad thign is sis been bugging me when im on the phone.
just wish she could just get lost for the time being.
there is so many i wish to write here.
but my hand forbids it.
LOL.
LOL.
LOL.

im done writing enough shit here already.
peace out people !

I still do keep you in my heart even after months.

Sunshine darlings.

Here's my second post for the day. Hell yeah ! LOL. okay. so, the whole day i have been watching videos on Youtube. Not porn people. LOL. I basically watch retarded people filming themselves on camera talking funny crap. well, there are actually millions of them. but my favourites are Swiftkaratechop and Shane Dawson. you have got to watch them. super funny. i laughed my ass off. okay. not really. LOL.

Im all alone at home now. Dad is off to Johor Bahru for i dont even know for what. He even blamed me for not filling up that damn white card wrongly when he is the one who doesnt even understand simple english. LOL.

okay. i feel like writing this down.

Mr S,
The first thing that came to me when you came to my mind
Is your wonderful smile
A smile that would be accompanied by that adorable laugh
And that makes me melt
To an ending that would never end.

When i think of the short time we had
And all of the happy times we shared
It amazed me to no end
And brings tears to my heart
And i know i really missed you after all these while

I look at you and i see overflowing of love, hope and joy
Together with charm, strength and dignity
With all those wonderful qualities
Its no wonder i still do love you
Which made me coming back to you

♥

Have i ever told you still I love you ?

" You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
And the only thing I like about you,
You make me love you."

I'm back from my freaking camp people. And i miss my freaking awesome people !
God, that camp was the worst camp ever. Don't make me go there again. the only thing i liked about it was the view from our tent. Yeah. and due to my tiredness today, i have skipped school. lol.

first day.
Met Fitri at bus stop and cab to school as we thought were late. reached at 6.45am which is like so freaking early. searched for Salam and wished him. i bought for him a Billabong wallet which is so freaking nice. gathered and after briefing, depart from S'pore for Bintan. Ferry ride was awesome but the only thing i hate is people vomiting like never vomit before. LOL. Good thing is i didn't throw out a single thing eve though i felt wrong in my stomach. LOL. When we have gone through Bintan's immigration, we depart for our campsite. its was actually just a big open field facing the beach. we then set off for our first activity which is Mangrove Replanting. we had to transfer seedlings from shore to the mangrove. My only pair of shoes got wet in the end. and i have to survive with that shoe for the whole camp. Fcuking shit betul. We had lunch there and the food is so suckish. I shall not describe it. we then continued with the planting. Believe me, i almost fell on my butt while passing the seedlings. After that, we head back to camp site to have our shower. I hate waiting to shower. After shower, we pitch tents. The tent we pitch was actually ruined by the wind. We then find a tent which was strong enough that didn't got destroyed. Our dinner was then is stupid. our light out were at 11 pm WIB. which is like 12am in S'pore. All four of us, Alyaa, Firah and Mars, fell asleep shortly after including me due to tiredness.

second day.

woke up at 5.15 am WIB to have early shower. Gathered for breakfast at 6.30 am WIB. Our breakfast was like shit. i only ate a little bit. we then head off to visit a local school before going for mountain trekking. the kids there are all so cute. i could stand but pinch their cheeks. hahas. they live on poverty but are happy. they are so different from Singaporeans. the population of students there were only 59. and the batch of us were 91. we could actually make a school there. the is this special kid which has an eye problem. i pitied him. he doesn't have any friend. he even got bullied. i just wished i could help him. :'( After bidding goodbye, we then set off for mountain trekking at Gunung Bintan. trust me. it is freaking steep. and i had asthma attack twice. once going up. and another one going down. i swear. reaching the summit and reaching the ground below was the best part. and i had a thorn in my flesh. its was so painful that my fourth finger on my right hand went numb till next morning. after trekking, we went back to camp site. during bus ride, everyone was worn out and fell asleep during the whole hour ride. we then were supposed to have team building games but the rain prevented us. and after the rain, we checked our tent and it was flooded. not so much but it actually wet out sleeping bags. Mars sleeping bag actually had a puddle of water there. LOL. we then took shower and head off for dinner. the dinner then was the best. we had barbecued dinner !weeeehooooo ! after dinner was campfire. FUN! after campfire, we were told that our lights out was extended by an hour.

third day.
we ha kayaking and raft building for the day. our group had to build a raft that could make us stay afloat on water for 14 of us, unfortunately, our raft failed. LOL. here comes the best part, kayaking. we actually had 20 mins in open sea. but due to the high tide, we actually had less than 15 mins. great or what ? after kayaking, we had shower back at the camp site. we actually bathed half naked in the open shower most of us only bathed in t shirts and panties. LOL. after that we had our lunch. it was the same damn lunch we had for the second day lunch. and it was not nice too. after lunch, we head off for S'pore. we reached Singapore at around 5.30 pm singapore time. believe me, everyone fell asleep that no one vomited. LOL. got through S'pore immigration and then head off for school. the class was like wild in the bus. we went shouting and hip hooray-ing in the bus. i swear the bus could just turn over, terbalik. LOL.after the whole debrief thingy, me and Fitri head off to burger king. i was actually so hungry. LOL. head off for home after dinner and i laid on bed till i fell asleep.
(:

Im just a little not over you

" Whenever flashback happened, i was wondering.
What is it that made me coming back to you ?
What is it that I cant seem to get you out ?
Its just too complicated to be answered. "

Hello Babies !
Its a freaking Sat !
and the weekend is here.
okay. currently no freaking mood in stepping out the house.
oh, and look above !
i got rid of my freaking contacts and on with the specs again.
believe it or not i had specs since kindergarten.
its actually a secret i kept since donkey years.

and so here starts my complains.
yes, the first week of school is disastrous !
i finally understood the meaning of 'difficult'.
i finally understood the reason why lots student refuse to take A maths.
yes. A maths is freaking difficult.
i have to ask mummy to get me a tuition teacher.
weeehooo !
and have i told you F&N is freaking confusing ?
i regret taking it.
i should have took Bio !
lol.

okay, so i am having my level camp at Bintan.
god, is the school budget or what ?
its like we are only going Sentosa.
whatever to the whatever gituk.

okay. i think i have write enough freaking shit here.
before i end this post,

Happy Advanced Birthday Salam !



May you have and everlasting flow of happiness and may you suceed in all your future endorsements. presents on the way Dude !

Tag replies :

Daniel;
woah ! the Obama has made a new blog ah ?
lol.

Alyaa;
lol. fat-ass ? is she that fat ? okay whatever. anyway, im not blaming anyone. part of it maybe her fault. but maybe in to blame too huh ?

Shakinah;
i am happy already people !
korang selalu mesti ader nyer.
kecoh. hahahs. crush aku ? gambar dier. shhh.

im just waiting till you noticed me.

"I never had the chance or courage to say it.
No matter what, you will stay. "

Evening babies.
been a long time since i blogged.
well, a lot of things happened.
precisely, i have been changed to a different person.
okay. not that different.
let me make my story short.

well, 2009 is already here. and that bring me closer to the major exams.
and it freaked me out. time to focus. and i just realised A Maths is actually confusing.
and F&N is freaky. 40 pages of coursework. Wahpiang eh ~ the rest of the subject is not much of a difference beside having heavy, expensive books.

and i changed my image too. yeah. new year so must have new image also. look out for the new image in the coming posts. my class this year is freaking awesome ! seriously, those fun ones are all in my class. unfortunately those in the first class is complaining of their class being too quiet. hahas. but, one flaw of my class. they can never keep quiet when needed them too. and also this year i have awesome classmates. real awesome. i never thought they could be hyper anytime of the day.

another thing. our level camp is like next week. MISS ME PEOPLE ! lol. 12 to 14 Jan. adventure camp in Bintan. yeehaa ~ syiok bodoh ! secondd year having level camp. 3 Gracious go ! actually its supposed to be 3 gracious 2. but the spirit of the sec 3 exp are too high, we combined. well, just for fun. hee.

so, before i end this, i would like to share my resolutions. [semangat sakk aku !]

Resolution For 2009

1. To change into a more respected person.

2. To be a good sister.

3. To stay focused on studies at all time [ no more slacking]

4. Make life better.

byeeeeee !

p.s. its over between me and him. back to loving my all-time crush. you know, you shut !

p.s.s. those words in large are how i felt for my crush. so shut up !