I feel so empty, hurt, lost, and all those ba feeling you would never want.
I have no idea why im feeling this way.

Most of all im feeling so empty without baby's cheerfulness.
I hated it when he starts going all moody and it makes me feel so guilty.
Its as if i am in the wrong.
But I will never know whose wrong is it.
I hated it when we never talk about our problems ever.
It makes me feel so awkward yet i want to know.
I just dont know how to mae him know how i feel deep inside.
But all I want him to know above all things is that I love him more than anything.

Yes. And all I could do know is leave him with his alone time.
Hoping as not to let history repeat itself.
And all I want is for us to last long than ever.

" I wish to put all things to rest.
And just lead my own life.
Cause people are just mean.
Hurting others like nobody's bussiness.
Karma ! "

Why is people so mean ?
I feel as though im not needed.
As though Im just that girl who will be there whenever you have no others to talk to.
Get a life.
You are hurting people.

Back to the stories.
Had drama training today.
Firstly met Daniel, Lorenzo and Firah at macs for breakfast.
Head down to school after that and were like so hyped up.
LOL.
During debrief, G was like telling me and the lightsman that there will be changes.
Then he suddenly poked me on what happen at the training at CJC.
OH-AM-GEE ~!
"Don't worry. Its not gonna be so much. I know." He was at first talking about the lights.
Then he suddenly changed his tone to sarcastic-ness.
"I heard someone got to stressed-up and cried on th bus "
And everyone was staring at me.
And all i said was "Fine. "
He was like keep repeating it.
-.-"""" -.-"""'
Great G.

So after drama, went to have lunch at KFC.
Then me, Daniel and Firah went to disscuss about our drama shirt.
And great, Im broke.
Perfectly rounded broke.
Baguuuuuus !
LOL.

Shall save on from now.
I hate being broke.
And mummy still dontwant top up my prepaid seyh.
Wth.

Byeeeeee.

"As life present you with challenges ,
How would you overcome it ? "

I shall contain my anger.
I do not want to have enemies.
And I shall just leave that particular person alone and let her do her stuff.
And I shall not interfere anymore with her life.
Or any other things that made her think Im that mean girl who has ruined her life.

Currently facing the freaking hot glaring sun.
Cause that is the only place I can actually get internet access in my room.
Cause obviously my wireless at home sucks.
And im not gonna complain to mummy cause she's already tired of me sayng the same old stuff for the past two months.
LOL.

My throat still hurt since yesterday.
But not as badly.
My flu is getting worser.
Why is everyone getting sick nowadays ?
Weird much ?

I had spend my day today just sacking around the house.
I have re-watch Twilight and at the same time
flipping through the pages of Twilight (the novel ) trying to notice whether the lines they say is exactly the same.
I am obviously Twilight crazy.
Even Bby said im obssesed.
LOL.
But who cares besides me ?
And i seen lots of people started reading the Twilight Saga.
Goodness sake, I have finished reading the whole four books like June last year when most people dont even know they existed.
Goodness. Can they ever wake up and go check out the bookstore or something.

I remembered one incident.
I was re-reading New Moon and Firah was reading it too.
One day, she told me those best part of the novel as she had finished it.
Then i said to her "Babe, I've read the whole of four book already. Im re-reading it. "
And then she was like blushing of embarresment.
No offence Firah !

Oh, back to my day.
And I re-watched videos by Destery, Shane Dawson and much more.
Why am i re-watching things ?
Goodness.

Tomorrow will have drama training.
From like 9 am to 3 ?
OH-AM-GEE !
I feel like dying.
Great Mr president.
I am so gona kill you tomorrow.

Byeeeeee. Im off for now !

" It all seems nice with you by my side.
And you were the one who makes me felt appreciated once again. "


My throat hurts.
Badly.
Fever since last night.
I hate it.

Ever since i got my results, I have resolve to myself to do well in the upcoming test.
Have been studying badly.
I know. I dont look like the one who would study.
Daddy warned me already.
" If you dont pass your EOY, I shall make you drop out of school. "
OMG ! I dont want drop out.
And all my dreams will be crushed !
And no way I would fail my EOY !
No way I would be repeating.
No way.
I have to improve on my humanities, FnN , Emaths and Amaths.
Yes, i failed all these freaking easy subject (beside Amaths) in term 1 ! -.-""
Probably dropping a maths.
That will depends on ny MYE results.

And yes, my weekend kinda suck.
Especially without contacting him.
XD.

Okay, enough ranting.
I shall not go on or it wil bore you to my freaking toes. -.-"
LOL.


Watch this.
I wont bore you though.





I told you.
And so, " I LOVE YOU "

"Love ? is that sone kind of cheese ? "
LOl.

Byeeee.

"I wanna be played like a sweet guitar
Played like a slow jam in the dark
I wanna be played like a violin
Make the strings talk with your finger tips. "

Friday the 13th.

Now i see why people loved avoiding this day.

My day started out badly.

i dont understand why.

But thanks to Ms Loh.

And i shall NOT elaborate.

In the end, it turned out great.

Besides my report slip.

Its the worst slip i have ever received in my life.

I failed four damn subjects.

I know.

After that went to have breakfast with Mama and Aiman.

Fetched Nana from her school.

Waited for her like as if i waited for a durian to fall from a tree.

Damn.

Then head off for a change and off to Suntec City for the freaking boring IT Show.

I wished i hadnt went.

And blah, blah, blah.

Headed home and here i am.

♥ ♥ ♥

Where were you, when everything was falling apart?

All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang.

And all I needed was a call that never came.

Lost and insecure,y ou found me.

Lying on the floor, surrounded.

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you?

Where were you?

Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

But in the end everyone ends up alone.

Losing him, the only one who's ever known.

Who I am, who I'm not and who I wanna to be.

No way to know how long he will be next to me.

♥ ♥ ♥

If there's a door to escape misery,
I would be the first.

" With all those love from you,
I feel as if i was once appreciated."

At last, i feel appreciated.
After all these while feeling so un-worthwhile.
And after all these time living in a world of my own,
I shall now start living life with others.

Its a Monday.
One of the most hated days in the calender.
It usually start great.
But unfortunately, it started bad again today.
Everything seems to go wrong nowadays.
Even i start to ot do homewor again when i know i should be doing.
Pure laziness, i could say.

And, hell yes, the holidays are coming.
Oh wait, its not even called a holiday.
We are freakingly supposed to come back for extra lessons.
Now, i have a feeling of changing my subjects.
Im starting to hate geog.
Its so freaking difficult.
And FnN is beggining to suck.
Okay, enough.

Friends are now coming back after all these while missing.
Yeah. Treat me like a waiting lamp post.
Why do you ever just go when you like and come when you're lonely ?
I dont understand this human nature.
Its seems so stupid.
And yet, it happened.
Listen, I shall not be the one waiting in line for you.
Back off if you're not gonna stay.

Enough ranting,
I shall not say more.
Byeeeee.

P.S. I love you bby.

Oh, tolong ! Im addicted to this song.
Oh so the nice.
LOL.
(:

Halo - Beyonce

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Wooooosshhhh ~!

Oooohh yeah ~

Happy Belated Birthday to
Ain Chinoneh ~ &&&
Shasha Loopy !

Yes, I love these two dumbass. And I look dumb in that pic. LOL !

Not forgetting
Dewi Farhanah.
And also to Umi !

I love these people.

May you lead a long and happy life.
May you suceed in your future endorsements.
May you love those loving you.
May you love me too ! (?)

Any more birthdays ?
I've had enough wishing people...
LOL.

"I found heaven on earth;
You were my last, my first;
And then here this voice inside;
Ave maria."

Hello babies !

Oooh yeah.
Yippe, yippee yeah.
LOL.

I change my skin in approx. nearly an hour !
An achievement !
LOL.

I just feel like killing lotsa people tonight.
But thanks to Bby cheerfulness, I shall not kill anyone.
And yes, I shall not.
Not today.
Maybe tmr.
LOL.

Had a freakingly fun day today.
Meet Kak Chubs after few mths missing her like crazy.
Kak Chubs and Rahmat waited for me near mrt.
Went to the street soccer court near Deyi Sec.
Talked and talked with Kak Chubs.
Met Elmo, her boyfiee.
And yes, I could suddenly visualize all her problems the intant i met him.
Waited for Shasha, Syafreak, and all.
Then we head off to KFC.
Had a blast there.
Talked all crap.
All those craziness happened there.
Oh and we met Farhan on the way there and so we ate together.
And hell yeah, didnt know he was so-called well-known there.
LOL.
Elmo dropped by.
And soon it started raining, and so we had to stay all the way till ard nearly 7.
Took the train and it was freaking full.
Bby and Qaiyum send me home.
Bby was like so cheerful which made me from being so sad about Kak Chubs to suddenly not worrying too much about her.
And, so, im now here writing this.

I do not have any more say.
So, i should just belah away from here.
Byeeeeeeeeee.

" Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace. "

Im feeling so down.
I dont know how many people has came tome to just let all their problems pour.
I dont' really mind to be their listening ear.
But most of those who came to me are all heartbroken.

Why is love hurting us so much ?
Why are we all still loving even though we knew deep inside that its gonna hurt soon ?
Why are we so stupid to not listen deep inside ?
Why would we risk it loving someone ?

I just dont understand the way life is created for us.
Time and time again, we've been tricked by the lies around us .
We've been hurt by people whom we thought would really love us.
And in the end, everthing turns topsy turvy.
And then only we realised that we've been wronged by our own soul.
And that is when the moment where tears start to trickle.
Thats the time our hugs began to grow.
And that is when we feel lonely.

After all these while ignoring those who had been there all the time waiting for you,
we suddenly remembered about them.
And that is when we could only remembered we have been neglecting them.

Elmo ; Dude, you've hurt her. I cant stand listening to her cries everythime she called. I dont want her to carry on like this. Please, for goodness sake, just dont go on like this. She had loved you all her heart and this is how you treated her ? Empty promises don't work anymore.

Danny ; All i could say is, live your life. Leave her alone. Im tired of seeing her suffering without you. Take care of Zawani. She's a nice girl. Dont hurt her like how you hurt Aini.


Im off people.
I got no more say.
Byeeee.

"When I’m feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know ill always be blessed with love."


Hello Babies !

Oh yes ! Its friday.
The weekend is hereee.
Oh, im so happy.
Wtf am i talking about ?
LOL.

"Oh, Goodbye Feb. We'll see you again next year.
And Hello March. Welcome back."

That really brings back fond memories when i was in Kindergarten.
Its the time when we will sing the song saying goodbyes and hellos every mth.
Talking about March, Ain's bday is on the way.
Wooh ~! And i'll simply give her a Big Hid hug !
At least its free.

Okay, im off.
im having this freaking flu and i wanna go watch tv.
LOL.
BYEEE.

" I've got the remedy and you've got the poison."

Hello Babies.

Tag replies ;

Nurul :

Babe ! I missed you too !

Im fine, thank you !

Meet again soon !

Daniel ;

Dude, that's freaking lame.

Bby :

Omg ! at last you tagged me.

Hee.

Shasha Loopy:

Ehk, cannot just put Shasha is it ?

LOL.

Nope. Soon. I just spend my money on my dad's bday pressie lah.

Hee. Combine ah babe ?

Okay, long story short.

These few days have been the most boring-est ( is there such a word ? ) days ever.

Daniel has been torturing us.

He purposely make drama end late.

I wanna kill him.

Okay, maybe not. But who cares.

And yeah, my asthma is killing me.
Imagine, running 2.4km and for once i had the thought of passing it, i actually failed.

All blamed towards my freaking unhealthy lungs.

Okay, what else do I write here ?

Absolutely nothng besides that I really feel like killing Daniel this freaking moment.

And maybe Jali too.

Oh no ! I don't wanna be a murderer.

LOL.

I've had enough ranting.

There's nothing much to write anyway.

Byeeeee.

P.S. I love you bby.

P.P.S Kak Chubs ! Where are you ? I need you.

(:

Omg ! You have to watch this.
Super hilarious.
No wonder they say its the best comedy ever.
I cant stop luaghing while watching it.
Go watch.
Now !




Watch ! Isn't he hot ?
LOL.

Im off.

"Is it me ?
Or is it just you ? "

Hello babies.

Okay, I have to admit. I just had the most awful week ever.
Okay, not that awful. But hell, i would even want to go through it again.
Imagine tests after one another.
Il already had five test in a week.
And I'll be having more in the coming weeks.
Great or what.
I should really take a break this weekend.
Crappy vids on youtube by either Destery or Shane Dawson or Matt Lush really threw away my stress.
Hee.

So, I now have a more relaxed maths and a-maths lessons since we had that banding scheme.
I dont even know what banding means. So dont bother asking.
I have officially wanting to pay attention in class already.
Thanks to some teachers who sill have faith in me.
And I, will officially pay attention in most classes from now on.
So, i shall stop being a bad girl.

Okay, im looking forward to my days with bestie in the next few weeks since shes no that busy now.
And, we have been catching up on each others life almost everyday.
Oh, and Danny, if you're reading this, its for you.
Have you heard of karma darling ?
Cause obviously you haven't.
Break my bestie's heart again and you'll see what happens.
Im tired of you playing around with her heart.
And go back to that immature tramp you've been after till you broke her heart.
Last chance dude.

Okay, enough ranting.
I'll continue another time.
byeeee.

Could you guys for once cut all those crap please ?
Its freaking me out.
For goodness sake, mind your own bussiness.
Would you even like it ?
I wanna escape this misery.
Through a dark, black hole somewhere in a wall where it would lead me to a peaceful land with smiles everywhere.
The world im in now is the totally opposite.
Why in the world of all things would it be me ?
Is it karma ?

" You just had that magnetic force for me.
And I promise with all my heart to never let you go.
I love you. "

Hello babies !

Happy Belated Valentines day !
I know its a bit too late, but who the hell cares ?
So, here is my 110th post.
Hell yeah, that is freaking slow for me to reach 110 !
LOL.

Okay, so i didnt went out with Bby on Vday.
All because i had to sit in with freaking bro at home while mum had to work (wtf ! purposely is it ?) and while my fcuking sister got to go to her friends birthday party !
How pathetic is that ?
And yes, the next day, despite the offer to spend the day with him, i chose the wrong way and im freaking mad at myself after that.
But, i still got his hug right ? And i got to spend at least an hour with him.
But its never enough !
Hee.

Okay, enough of Vday.
Oh wait ! you have to watch this freakingly funny video by Destery !
The funniest Youtuber ( is there such word ? ) ever !





What ?! A song about vaginas on Vday ? LOL.
Go check out some of his other videos.
My fav is Christmas Boners and Also Nate Napalm 1 & 2.
Check out Emo Breakup by Shane Dawson too.
The hottest youtuber ever !
All on youtube.

Okay, im done for today.
Byee.

" My only weakness is you.
My only reason is you.
Every minute with you.
Seems like i can't do without you."

Hello my darling babies !

My starting seems diff today ?
I know.
Im in serious sugar rush.
Probably from the coke just now.

So I had the best day.
Okay, not that good actually.
Especially the a maths part.
And also social studies.
I could freakishly kill myself there and there goes the lessons.
Tell me who the hell wants to put a freaking ONE period aster lunch and after that period
your curriculum time is done ?
Bodoh seyh.

Okay, so we had drama after that.
And there is this alumni that came and elped us along.
At first i thought he would be those boring type,
In the end, he was the one who made all those fun things .
Like when we part, we would do those handshake and then hug.
Then firah had to go first, she just shook our hands and then walked off.
Alyaa asked for a hug then she said she dont want hug cause she dont want hug Charlie or whatever his real name is Jali if im not wrong.
Suddenly Charlie said "Alah, go home fcuk yourself lah" .
Not in those bad mannered way but in those funny way.
We laughed our ass off all the way home.

Oh and have you watched the Snuggie commercial ?
Its about the blanket that has sleeves.
I saw it on Ellen Degeneres and i laughed my ass off after that.
Tell me who would ever wear that when you wanna go for a match ?
LOL.
The video is right after the post,
And tell me who would wanna go out and watch a match in that.
I bet the mother of the family said something like "Lets go wear our Snuggie to the match !"
And then the daddy would say "Of course" and they slapped high five.
LMAO.

okay. enough for today.
I love you people.
I know. Randomness.
LOL.

" Those memories I could never erase. "

" I wish i could re-write every line to the story of being with you.
And all I know is that im stll not over you. "

Hello babies.

Tag replies.

NjK;

Hey dude !

hahas no prob.

block me all you want.

LOL.

wEnShEnG ;

Hahas.

You talk only ah ?

Your blog leh ?

Gonna be dead liao.

Sorry,

Jueyu ;

Sure darling.

Will link you up soon okay ?

aisyaaah ;

Babe ! you ask me relink but where's the link ?

LOL.

Shrooms ;

Hey ! hahas.

Yup yup.

I was wearing hot pink.

You saw me ?

If you did, why never say 'hi' ?

Alamak.

LOL.

Yes, i had my great Sunday.
Hee.
I dont actually feel like writing it down.
Probably because im too tired after school.
I still haven't yet shower. -.-

So, he fetched me after mad.
Yes, this time i was the one late.
star karat betul nyer hid.
So, me, him and ain when to my hse as ain wanted to borrow some items for her camp.
I know. Im kind kan ? LOL.
Then i brought aiman down to the park and the five of use lepak as usual.
Had a great time with them lah.
And ain sempat borrow his camp bag lah.
Hee. Ader jehk ain tau.

Oh and today we had F&N practical.
We made Lemon Meringue (me-ring) Pie.
Super nice.
See who make lah.
Hid and Jojo make nice food.
Hee.
Puji diri sendiri nampak ? LOL.
Alyaa's meringue pie, for once, became like shit.

Okay not really that bad but it burnt.
Padan muka.
LOL.


okay im off now.
I have nothing more to say.
Byeee.

"I put my soul into this.

I put my heart into this.

There's nothing in this world I would ever trade for this. "

Hello babies.

Ah, great week.

Spend most of the days after school bonding with my peers.

And i realised they weren't so bad after all.

Oh, and were breaking the drama tradition already.

Usually we would eat at LJS after drama training.

But now, we would change almost every week.

But most important thing, we still love each other.

Hee.

Oh yeah,

We had cross country yesterday.

Great day.

Me, Firah, Alyaa, and Erra ate at Cafe Galilee at the new library and hell yes, it was awesome all for the price of $4.90 student promotion.

And we ended up late for the cross country.

Hee.

Star karat sekali-sekala aper salahnye ? LOL

And yes, after a while of not running, i actually run yesterday.

I almost had my asthma attack.

But, thank god it didnt happened.

Or i'd be lying there on my way to the hospital in the ambulance. LOL.

Overall,

I had the best week.

Okay, I ought to start saving money to buy Eclipse.

Im reading the whole series all over again.

Im now on New Moon.

Yes, im Twilght Crazy now.

LOL.

Enough shit for today already.

Im off people !

Byeeee

"Would you even realise I'm actually staring right at you?

And there you were staring back at me.

And i had to just look away.

Accckkkkwwwaaarrrrdddd."

Hello babies.
Another great day indeed.
Okay, wasn't that good in the start but as Allah had promised, the ening is always better than the start.
Wow. Mad lessons actually paid off for once.
LOL.
So, had like freaking E maths in the first lesson and hell, Ms Tan is in serious bad mood.
She throw tantrums at almost anything she can find.
Then we had A maths.
God, I had to sit besider her. And goddammit, I can't stand her freaking attitude towards me.
I missed the test before when i was on mc, so i ad to take it today during remedial.
Oh yeah, i had to go for A maths Remedial as well as Chem.
Serious shit kan ? And both are at the same time and day.
Okay, so whatever.
Had malay after A maths and we did like kefahaman again.
Alamak, hari-hari kefaaman pe ? Giler nyer cikgu. Suruh kita buat abeh kasih answer sekali ? lagy bodoh lah kite...

okay. so whatever lah that lesson.

We then had Eng.

We were supposed to bring a picture of someone.

And me and Firah were like Obsessed with Twilight.

LOL.

That went on and we had reccess.

Had Lor Mee.

Seeeeeddddaaaapppp.

Had F&N after that.

Seriously those complicated items and terms were like 'Alamak ! '

Me an Richo were like 'huh' here and there.

Lucky only two periods.

Had physics and later chem.

Head for lunch and then off for A maths Remedial.

Did my suprise test which is not so suprising anymore.

I was lucky i did it later cause he already went through the paper during the lesson just now and the question are like similar.

I bet she* was struggling.

Padan muka. Tak tahu nak pay attention lagy kan ?

Then we were supposed to do this worksheet which is so freaking hard.

Alyaa, Firah and I was like struggling and there she is copying Alyaa's work.

Me and her was like supposed to do almost at the same pace and I could actually complete the same amount of question which Firah did and Firah didnt take the test.

Fcuking kan ?

She still could say she survived A maths.

I should be the one saying that actually.

LOL.

Head home straight after that.

Had no freaking mood to stay out longer.

That was today.

And it was really a relief it has ended.

I swear i could have died if I have to spend another minute more and bear with that attitude.

Okay.

I wanna so meet Chubs tmr.

I miss her freaking much lah.

Havent been seeing her in like I dont know how many months already.

Okay, I shall stop here.

I bet you guys wouldnt wanna read more kan ?

LOL.

byeeee !

" Even though you're still with her,
I'll still be waiting here for you.
However long you take."



Hello babies.
Okay, sorry for the post before.
Or is it still called a post ? =.=
Okay, so let me start from sunday.
Since thats where I stop kan ? =.=





Sunday;
Spend the morning in madrasah.
Was super early that day,
But because Shasha and Sasa was late, we ended up 10 mins late.
Gave a wake up call to S at 10.
Boleh jadi alarm clock ah hid. =.=""""""
Oh and my I have sirah projek to do.
Seriously, i ws fcuked with the teacher.
Cerewet ah. Every work hand in mut be standardised.
Merepek kan ? Macam apa ? Macam paham !
Mintak kene sepak nyer muka ah.
Oh, and madrasah getting strict already ah.
If late kena detention and you have to hafal surah during breaktime.
Which is like my breakfast.
Alamak, boleh mati tak de breakfast. How to study ? Tapi boleh jadi alim ah kita.
So, no more latecoming.
After Mad, waited for S at playground.
Alamak, macam tunggu durian jatuh dari pokok ah.
40 mins late.
But excused. For once only.
Headed down to KFC at Admiralty for lunch with Ain and S.
I, the clever one, thought there would be no student special on Sun and in the end, S turned red at me for that.
Sorry hor.
Lepak-ed at Ain void deck for a while before heading home at 3.30pm and reaching home at 4.
Fast eh ? =.=


Monday;
Had school as per usual.
Accidentally left Alyaa behind and she complained about W following her.
We now had no idea already why we hated her so much.
LOL.
After school, spend time wth the lovelies, Firah, Alyaa & Erra at Northpoint
God, I had no idea I was so freaking crazy at that time.
Tried Cone Pizza.
Seeedddaaapppp.
Headed down to library and saw Syafiq, Haz, Wan and Zul.
Made kecoh wth them till the librarian warned us.
Too lazy to get another warning, headed out and made kecoh at Northpoint pulak.
LOL.
Had a freaking awesome time with them.
Reached home at 6 on the dot.
Mum and Nana came home shortly after.
And i mean shortly.
Hee.



okay, enough freaking shit for today.
I have no idea what else im gonna write.
Oh, and i shall end the pos today with this cute peekture.
Hee.

LIFE'S UNFAIR.

okay. byeee.

"I miss you freaking much.

And i do miss your hug too."

Hello babies.

I have no freaking idea what am I gonna write here.
I have just really recovered from my asthma but hell, my cough is freaking me out.
I jut feel like screaming my lungs out.
And when i wated to scream, my throat hurts badly.
And I cant eve write properly.
My hand shakes. my handwriting looks freaking ugly.
Side effects of my medicine.
Great or what ?

Oh, and i feel like giving up my friendster, Tagged and whatever accounts i have.
Macam paham ah Hid. Cakap jehk manyaaak. LOL. =.=
Friendster is like super slow already lah.
Malas pun nak update.
Gonna be freaking active on blog only.
Hee.

Okay. tomorrow there will be Mad.
Yes, and i'll be mad wth them.
not mad as in angry but mad as in crazy.
LOL.
Oh, and Mr S, fetch me please ?
I miss you freaking much too.
Please ?
Pretty, Pretty please ?
Hee.

Okay, enough shit for today.
I wanna ajak mummy go Town.
Im bored sitting at home.
Its been donkey years since i'd been there.
Pretty please mummy ?

byeeee !
(:

" Am I going through this alone ? "

Hello babies.

I promised to update again didnt I ?
I keep promises okay ?
So, my day is simply boring.
I felt as if im grounded.
But im not really grounded though.
I just had no freaking mood to get out.
And oh yes, anyone nice enough to accompany me to Bugis Street ?
It had been donkey years since i stepped into town orBugis.
The last time i'd been there was like last year after watching basketball match with Shasha Loopy and Ain Gundoo.

Oh, and here's the lyrics to one of the songs in my playlist,
Does Anybody Hear Her By Casting Crowns.
We are also using this song for our Drama SYF play.
I simply dont know why i loved it.
Maybe because i listened to it a million times already ?
And also, im in love with the song by Rihanna - P.S. Im Still Not Over You.
I dont know why but i feel as if i could relate to it.


Does Anybody Hear Her - Casting Crowns

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

" Its impossible for us.
But what can I do if i can't stop dreaming ? "


Hello babies.

I woke up seriously early today despite the sleepless night i had last night.
Im still on mc.
shit right ? im already missing my classmates and my babies.
Wensheng even tagged me. im so touched. lol
im seriously hungry but in no mood to eat.
i want macd's.
LOL.
cerewet eh hid hari nie !
and im also craving for some KFC.
lol.
okay.
i'll update more later on.

(:

"I just know.

The moment we feel the love.

It makes me coming back for more.

But im still patiently waiting."

Hello Babies.

Currently in a good mood.
But not that good.
There is still breathing difficulties.
But hack care.
Im gonna meet my babies later on.

So, my four days of CNY holiday isnt much fun since i chose to just laze around at home.

Sat.
So, head over to park to hangout with sibling and also Mr S.
Had a great time even though for a short while.
After all those fun, head to food court in NP with mummy for early dinner.

Sun.
Head off to madrasah early in the morning.
met ain on the train.
first time in 2009 with a record of lateness. LOL.
had those freaking boring lessons.
after madrasah, spend time with him.
yes, he sentd me home.
sweetness.
it ended with a long hug. -.-

Mon.
did nothing much.
didnt even step out of the house.
mummy blamed me for her missing credit cards.=.=""""
looked aroud the house for it and found it somewhere in her cupboard.
thanks for blaming me eh.=.="""
mummy didnt talk to me one whole day.
merajuk lah tu.
kept quiet about her cards in her cupboard. lol

Tue.
had a bad sore throat.
stayed at home while the rest went to Science Centre.
i have been there a million times.
no regrets for not following.

Yest.
half day of school.
i think asthma attacked me.
lol.
im serious !
cant sleep the night before.
head for school with that face that looks like as if i wanna die that minute.
head home for a change before heading of for lunch with fitria and wanie.
i wanna kill wanie.
all she talks about is guys.
flirt !
head home at around 1 plus.
started to aze around on bed and suddenly fell asleep all the way to 4.
woke up and text mummy i needed the doctor seroiusly.
the clinic was full.
had a one hour wait. -.-
in the end, i was given Nebs.
you know , that mask they give you when u have breathing difficulty.
i hate those thing.
it makes you tears.
but well, it feels lots better after that.

today.
was given a two day mc.
skipped school !
hoorrraaayyy !
dont get jealous. -.-
asthma getting better.
at last.
gonna meet shasha, ain and sasa afterwards.
wooh !
i missed them ever so much.

okay. enough shit for today.
byeeee !

How long will it be to have you back again ?

Hello babies.

In a good mood rght now.
So dont spoil it.
LOL.
Lessons were as per normal.

We only had lessons till reccess.

We had social studies with Foong.
A fcuking irritating teacher. All she does is blabbing.
Then we had Geog. Trust me. Boooorrriiinnnggg.
Had a test. And then she blabbed on about rivers and i was there giving her that 'not-eager-to-learn-geog-for-the-moment' face.
After geog was A maths.
Jarrett joker lah at class. Kian wei too. I swear that was the best lesson i had for the day.
Mr Ben Yong wasnt actually that strict. He is funny. hahas.
We then had reccess and then Chinese New Year celebration.
I swear I could just fell asleep there at that moment if it wasnt for the noise.
So, walked back home with Fitri and Wanie.
Freaking hot. and i was like carrying a backpack. Double freaking hot. =.=
Wanie could seriouly need a slapping from me.
My MP4 which she borrowed could just break into pieces in her hand.
Fcking shit lah.
Head home and had a loooonng cold shower.
Continued reading my novel and here i am.

Im off now.

Byeeeeee !

I was just waiting for you

" I dreamt of you.
But will that dream ever come true ? "

I have just had my worst day.

It all started all fine.
I was having my normal high mood.
when it all came crashing down on me right when i thought i could be happier at that moment.
It was the lesson before my reccess at 11.
We were having project work and i admitted not contributing ideas when we needed them.
Reason because i am not creative.
I do not care saying this to everyone as i myself know there is no point of lying to myself.
And that is when she* took advantge of throwing sarcasm right into my face.
But what can i do ?
I wished i could just turn back time and show her how pissed i am right that moment and just run into the toilet and cry my heart out and make her feel guilty.
But because i respected my group, i pretended as if nothing had happened.
imagine her saying "Do you have any idea, Hidayah ?" right after i commented on one of the members idea.
That was not all.
When i wanted to voice out my idea, i was already shouting and the class was like noisy and there she was not listening and twirling her hair and suddenly she said "What ? " right into my face.
i kept pretending not to hear anything.
All i wish i had done was to smack her face.
But why dont i have that courage in me ?
After few more lessons after that, we were having social studies when she made me feel like a dog shit in front of her.
The annoying teacher was there blabbing about some stuffs when she asked us to copy down some stuffs on foolscap.
My partner beside me was asking for some and then i offered him.
She then saw it and asked too. My partner gave it to her. And when i asked it from her back my foolscap pad. My partner already offered his hand but she then acted as if she didnt see it and throw it in my face with that fcuking face of hers.
And i had to still endure it the whole day.
If i hadnt had the patience to stay calm, i would think she would had hate me forever.

And during drama, we had this line read and i was there to join them as i was the stage manager. And after all those line reads, G came to us and then asked me what i wanted to be and there i said, looking stunned, saying i wanted to be a teacher. And suddenly he started talking about all those crap about what experience i had to be a teacher and all those irritating crap about singaporeans who wouldn't wake up to reality.He said it as if he already culd predict the future that he knew al those title jobs are what we could be and as if its so impossibe to reach our dreams. and he kept saying thinks that made me realise being an adult, reaching towards my dreams is as easy as i thought. On the way home, i reflected on my day and i realised what G had said really made me woke up to reality and he didnt mean what he said and he did it because he cared for us. Afiq said it was reverse psychology that is supposed to make you work harder to reach what your dreams are.

I shall not blabb on as it would be boring.

* I shall keep her name private. To her : Be thankful i didnt throw tantrum at you. And be thankful i keep your name silent. Siapa makan cili dialah terasa pedas.

Byeeeeee !

Was I blinded by love ?

"Is it me ?
Or is it you ?
Or is it just me being blinded by love ?"

Hello Babies.

Had a freaking great time today.
As usual, had to wake up early today for Madrasah despite waiting for his call till midnight.
Was 15 mins late. great right ? every week at least 15 mins. Soon you will be seeing me washing the toilets. LOL. so, had a freaking great time with gossips among the four of us. Every single week there's surely be gossips. hee.

After madrasah, he piced me up and we went home together. super sweet. hee. SHUT UP HID ! And i was alreading dreaming of sleeping the minute i step into the house but only to find AimanBby to ask me to accompany him to the park. promised him at 3. and with his wilingness to accompany him, four of us including him had a jolly well time at the park for more than an hour. after sending him of to the bus stop, went home only to find mummy wanting us to meet her at northpoint. i am llike so freaking tred at that point of time.

currently waiting for his msg as he promised to msg me after his soccer. and yes. i have to go or my ear will be deaf with mummy's whining that wants to use my laptop. LOL.

till here.
Peace out !

Hearing your voice before i sleep makes me melt

" I wish you could just read my heart.
Cause i just can't hold it any longer already."

Hello babies.

currently in high mood.
school yesterday was fun.
but tiring. im still in the mood of sleeping in till late afternoon. LOL.
but i simply can't.
mummy spoilt my plan of going out for movie with richo and asked my to watched over aiman alone.
and then i woke up to see daddy still lying on bed sleeping which means he would be at home the whole day.
great or what ?

been chatting on the phone with Salam these few days.
one word. F.U.N.
but the bad thign is sis been bugging me when im on the phone.
just wish she could just get lost for the time being.
there is so many i wish to write here.
but my hand forbids it.
LOL.
LOL.
LOL.

im done writing enough shit here already.
peace out people !

I still do keep you in my heart even after months.

Sunshine darlings.

Here's my second post for the day. Hell yeah ! LOL. okay. so, the whole day i have been watching videos on Youtube. Not porn people. LOL. I basically watch retarded people filming themselves on camera talking funny crap. well, there are actually millions of them. but my favourites are Swiftkaratechop and Shane Dawson. you have got to watch them. super funny. i laughed my ass off. okay. not really. LOL.

Im all alone at home now. Dad is off to Johor Bahru for i dont even know for what. He even blamed me for not filling up that damn white card wrongly when he is the one who doesnt even understand simple english. LOL.

okay. i feel like writing this down.

Mr S,
The first thing that came to me when you came to my mind
Is your wonderful smile
A smile that would be accompanied by that adorable laugh
And that makes me melt
To an ending that would never end.

When i think of the short time we had
And all of the happy times we shared
It amazed me to no end
And brings tears to my heart
And i know i really missed you after all these while

I look at you and i see overflowing of love, hope and joy
Together with charm, strength and dignity
With all those wonderful qualities
Its no wonder i still do love you
Which made me coming back to you

♥

Have i ever told you still I love you ?

" You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
And the only thing I like about you,
You make me love you."

I'm back from my freaking camp people. And i miss my freaking awesome people !
God, that camp was the worst camp ever. Don't make me go there again. the only thing i liked about it was the view from our tent. Yeah. and due to my tiredness today, i have skipped school. lol.

first day.
Met Fitri at bus stop and cab to school as we thought were late. reached at 6.45am which is like so freaking early. searched for Salam and wished him. i bought for him a Billabong wallet which is so freaking nice. gathered and after briefing, depart from S'pore for Bintan. Ferry ride was awesome but the only thing i hate is people vomiting like never vomit before. LOL. Good thing is i didn't throw out a single thing eve though i felt wrong in my stomach. LOL. When we have gone through Bintan's immigration, we depart for our campsite. its was actually just a big open field facing the beach. we then set off for our first activity which is Mangrove Replanting. we had to transfer seedlings from shore to the mangrove. My only pair of shoes got wet in the end. and i have to survive with that shoe for the whole camp. Fcuking shit betul. We had lunch there and the food is so suckish. I shall not describe it. we then continued with the planting. Believe me, i almost fell on my butt while passing the seedlings. After that, we head back to camp site to have our shower. I hate waiting to shower. After shower, we pitch tents. The tent we pitch was actually ruined by the wind. We then find a tent which was strong enough that didn't got destroyed. Our dinner was then is stupid. our light out were at 11 pm WIB. which is like 12am in S'pore. All four of us, Alyaa, Firah and Mars, fell asleep shortly after including me due to tiredness.

second day.

woke up at 5.15 am WIB to have early shower. Gathered for breakfast at 6.30 am WIB. Our breakfast was like shit. i only ate a little bit. we then head off to visit a local school before going for mountain trekking. the kids there are all so cute. i could stand but pinch their cheeks. hahas. they live on poverty but are happy. they are so different from Singaporeans. the population of students there were only 59. and the batch of us were 91. we could actually make a school there. the is this special kid which has an eye problem. i pitied him. he doesn't have any friend. he even got bullied. i just wished i could help him. :'( After bidding goodbye, we then set off for mountain trekking at Gunung Bintan. trust me. it is freaking steep. and i had asthma attack twice. once going up. and another one going down. i swear. reaching the summit and reaching the ground below was the best part. and i had a thorn in my flesh. its was so painful that my fourth finger on my right hand went numb till next morning. after trekking, we went back to camp site. during bus ride, everyone was worn out and fell asleep during the whole hour ride. we then were supposed to have team building games but the rain prevented us. and after the rain, we checked our tent and it was flooded. not so much but it actually wet out sleeping bags. Mars sleeping bag actually had a puddle of water there. LOL. we then took shower and head off for dinner. the dinner then was the best. we had barbecued dinner !weeeehooooo ! after dinner was campfire. FUN! after campfire, we were told that our lights out was extended by an hour.

third day.
we ha kayaking and raft building for the day. our group had to build a raft that could make us stay afloat on water for 14 of us, unfortunately, our raft failed. LOL. here comes the best part, kayaking. we actually had 20 mins in open sea. but due to the high tide, we actually had less than 15 mins. great or what ? after kayaking, we had shower back at the camp site. we actually bathed half naked in the open shower most of us only bathed in t shirts and panties. LOL. after that we had our lunch. it was the same damn lunch we had for the second day lunch. and it was not nice too. after lunch, we head off for S'pore. we reached Singapore at around 5.30 pm singapore time. believe me, everyone fell asleep that no one vomited. LOL. got through S'pore immigration and then head off for school. the class was like wild in the bus. we went shouting and hip hooray-ing in the bus. i swear the bus could just turn over, terbalik. LOL.after the whole debrief thingy, me and Fitri head off to burger king. i was actually so hungry. LOL. head off for home after dinner and i laid on bed till i fell asleep.
(:

Im just a little not over you

" Whenever flashback happened, i was wondering.
What is it that made me coming back to you ?
What is it that I cant seem to get you out ?
Its just too complicated to be answered. "

Hello Babies !
Its a freaking Sat !
and the weekend is here.
okay. currently no freaking mood in stepping out the house.
oh, and look above !
i got rid of my freaking contacts and on with the specs again.
believe it or not i had specs since kindergarten.
its actually a secret i kept since donkey years.

and so here starts my complains.
yes, the first week of school is disastrous !
i finally understood the meaning of 'difficult'.
i finally understood the reason why lots student refuse to take A maths.
yes. A maths is freaking difficult.
i have to ask mummy to get me a tuition teacher.
weeehooo !
and have i told you F&N is freaking confusing ?
i regret taking it.
i should have took Bio !
lol.

okay, so i am having my level camp at Bintan.
god, is the school budget or what ?
its like we are only going Sentosa.
whatever to the whatever gituk.

okay. i think i have write enough freaking shit here.
before i end this post,

Happy Advanced Birthday Salam !



May you have and everlasting flow of happiness and may you suceed in all your future endorsements. presents on the way Dude !

Tag replies :

Daniel;
woah ! the Obama has made a new blog ah ?
lol.

Alyaa;
lol. fat-ass ? is she that fat ? okay whatever. anyway, im not blaming anyone. part of it maybe her fault. but maybe in to blame too huh ?

Shakinah;
i am happy already people !
korang selalu mesti ader nyer.
kecoh. hahahs. crush aku ? gambar dier. shhh.

im just waiting till you noticed me.

"I never had the chance or courage to say it.
No matter what, you will stay. "

Evening babies.
been a long time since i blogged.
well, a lot of things happened.
precisely, i have been changed to a different person.
okay. not that different.
let me make my story short.

well, 2009 is already here. and that bring me closer to the major exams.
and it freaked me out. time to focus. and i just realised A Maths is actually confusing.
and F&N is freaky. 40 pages of coursework. Wahpiang eh ~ the rest of the subject is not much of a difference beside having heavy, expensive books.

and i changed my image too. yeah. new year so must have new image also. look out for the new image in the coming posts. my class this year is freaking awesome ! seriously, those fun ones are all in my class. unfortunately those in the first class is complaining of their class being too quiet. hahas. but, one flaw of my class. they can never keep quiet when needed them too. and also this year i have awesome classmates. real awesome. i never thought they could be hyper anytime of the day.

another thing. our level camp is like next week. MISS ME PEOPLE ! lol. 12 to 14 Jan. adventure camp in Bintan. yeehaa ~ syiok bodoh ! secondd year having level camp. 3 Gracious go ! actually its supposed to be 3 gracious 2. but the spirit of the sec 3 exp are too high, we combined. well, just for fun. hee.

so, before i end this, i would like to share my resolutions. [semangat sakk aku !]

Resolution For 2009

1. To change into a more respected person.

2. To be a good sister.

3. To stay focused on studies at all time [ no more slacking]

4. Make life better.

byeeeeee !

p.s. its over between me and him. back to loving my all-time crush. you know, you shut !

p.s.s. those words in large are how i felt for my crush. so shut up !